Calm before the storm
by Victoria8
Summary: Moya John does some musing whilst Aeryn is on Talyn


Timeline: After Thanks for Sharing but before Fractures. I apologise for character inconsistencies but I have not seen much of the 3rd series, being a Brit.. Rating: Okay, lets say this is about a PG in UK terms (don't know what it is in US, sorry, I must learn ratings..) Category: Hmmm, a song fic, incorporating a bit of musing on MoyaJohn's part.  
  
Spoilers: Basically for the third series up until Thanks for Sharing. Disclaimer: Right. I don't own Farscape or any of the character. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfic, I'd be helping with scripts. I'd also be rich and employ Ben Browder as my personal trainer :) Plus me=student=no money= pointless lawsuit. Feedback: That would be great. victoria@jewells.force9.co.uk OR aeryn_17@yahoo.co.uk I will stop writing if no positive reinforcement is given cos I've just gone to university (after completing my a-levels, wuhoo!). However, you may want me to stop writing so that may be a good thing. Comments: This story is slightly different to my usual style, but I'm still experimenting.  
  
Thanks: Thanks goes to Laura, who was my beta reader for this story. *On Moya* John sat alone in his quarters, staring at his empty pulse pistol holder, Wynnona, long removed from its security. His notebook, and pistol on the distant young Leviathan, taking his life as he knew it with them. The other John, this is all his fault. If he had never appeared my life would still be normal, well, as normal as it could ever be in the uncharted territories. A feeling of inferiority was gradually replacing the anger that John had initially felt when the 'other' him had left on Talyn with Aeryn. Why did she choose him, is it obvious to everyone but me that I'm the clone? Everyone else on Moya seemed relatively unaffected by the departure of Aeryn sure they, were sad to see her go, but they carried on with their lives as normal. I'm the only one who seemed to have stopped, maybe because my life is Aeryn. I miss her, it's as simple as that. And I'd give up forever to touch you,  
  
Cos I know that you feel me somehow,  
  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,  
  
And I don't want to go home right now She's as good as dead, left alone with the other John, with me out of the picture, something is bound to happen. The other John is a damned fool if he doesn't utilise the time. And that's what I hate the most about the 'other'. He thinks the same way as me, and if I was truly honest, I know I would do the same if it was the other way around. When Aeryn comes back, if she comes back, it's likely that she will be so used to seeing the other John as the only one, that she will see me as the copy. And that's what would kill me, knowing the woman I love sees me as a fake, an imitation who could never be 'her' John. And all I can taste is this moment  
  
And all I can breathe is your life  
  
When sooner or later it's over,  
  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight. I know it's wrong, but I can't help hating the other 'me'. What am I saying? He's not me anymore, he's experiencing something new and unusual, something I could only guess at. I'm stuck on this frelling ship while he's having a free holiday with her, it's just not fair. And I don't want the world to see me  
  
Cos I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am. *Now John, she's left you, gone for good, you might as well give yourself up, without her, you don't stand a chance* Frell off, Harvey, this is a private moping session, crawl back in the dumpster where you belong. It's all damned Scorpius' fault anyway, if he hadn't of put you in my head we'd probably be somewhere totally different and I'd have never been cloned in the first place. But the thing is, when she left, she didn't even look upset, and that's hurting more than the fact she's not here. And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,  
  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
  
When everything feels like the movies  
  
Yeah, you bleed just to know your alive If only DK and Dad could see me now, totally broken because the woman I love has left me for 'me'. I'm not even going to try and explain what I'm feeling to the recorder, I'd probably totally lose it! What would the people of Earth think, John Crichton, completely in love with an alien I couldn't go back to Earth now, they'd think I was crazy, how could they possibly believe all the things I've been through? And I don't want the world to see me,  
  
Cos I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am. What am I saying? Of course I'll go back to Earth, and I'll take Aeryn with me. I don't know how, but I'll find a way, when she comes back I'll try my best to win her back. I'm not going settle for someone determining my life without me having any say. Screw it, I'm gonna win, and I'm gonna get on with my life. When the other John comes back, were gonna have a long chat. Yep, this is definitely the calm before the storm. I just want you to know who I am,  
  
Yeah, I just want you to know who I am. Lyrics taken from Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and are used without the artists' expressed permission. If anyone has seen my other story 'Reconciliation' floating around, could you please let me know? As embarrassing as it sounds, I have lost it and have no other copy. It wasn't very good, (as with all my other stories lol) but nevertheless, I would like to see it again! 


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